Parkinson’s Law

I recently came across this Law and, like a myopic slapping on a pair of glasses first thing in the morning, it has done much to illuminate why the ludicrousness of office life are so patently ludicrous.

Parkinson’s First Law runs like this: Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

Or, to paraphrase; The amount of time you have to complete a task, is the amount of time it will take to complete said task.”

Parkinson developed this law in his studies of the British Empire. His original observation was of how bureaucracies expand over time – he observed the number of employees of the British Colonial Office, watched it expand, and noted that as the number of colonies fell, the number of employees increased. The number of employees actually peaked at the time the office was disbanded for lack of colonies to rule. Two corollaries are presented - (1) “An official wants to multiply subordinates, not rivals”, and - (2) “Officials make work for each other.

Like the best observations, it is both profound and ridiculously self-evident. Yet it is true, and truer in the office than anywhere else (where Parkinson had in mind when he formulated it). If a project must be completed in three months, it will take three months. If the same project is to be completed in two months, it will take two months. The Law lifts the rock clean off, leaving human procrastinations, laziness, sloth, ego, motivations – running around like headless woodlice.

I believe one of my colleagues independently came to the same conclusion. When a project deadline was fast approaching, and yours truly started pulling at his collar, my colleague’s response was pure Parkinson: “Don't be stressed Hairycakes – everything always gets done.” EVERYTHING ALWAYS GETS DONE! Precisely! We got it done, as Parkinson and my colleague said we would. Quality may decline, but the deadline will always be met. The means may be different to achieve the end, but the end will be met. If there is the prospect of a deadline extension, then this does not invalidate the law. People will factor in the existence of the extension into their (subconscious) plans and work to the extended deadline!

So the corollary is, deadlines shouldn’t stress you out, because they will always be met!

Some of the corollaries to Parkinson’s Law are even more interesting. His theory of how hierarchies develop is so hilarious it must have something to it. Read an abridged version here:

http://www.spreadsheetdetective.com/berglas/Articles/parkinsons_law.pdf

Are we really so shallow and so foolish? Probably. It also goes to show that big organisations are, organically, less efficient than smaller operations.

I was put in mind of these office laws by a recent whimsical article in the FT .

The FT article modified Parkinson’s Law of bureaucracies to Head Offices – “Planning the perfect HQ is undertaken only by institutions on the verge of collapse”, citing the League of Nations in  the 30s and extending it, worryingly to the EU today – which just completed its new HQ in Brussels. We could add Anglo Irish Bank’s quays monstrosity to this list, or the Great Wall of China, or Hadrian’s Wall, or Easter Island.

A final corollary to Parkinson’s relativistic take on the world is applicable even to the non-Dilberts of the world: “Expenditures rise to meet income.”

Or, every time you get a raise, your expenditure will inexplicably jump to swallow it up.

Try to find fault with any of these Laws. Find them you will not. But dwelling on them may well make you wiser.